1 00:00:09,594 --> 00:00:11,114 .Let's get started. come on 2 00:00:13,754 --> 00:00:15,674 ?Just start reading 3 00:00:17,274 --> 00:00:19,274 Can you say something? 4 00:00:21,674 --> 00:00:24,794 ...one, two, three, four 5 00:00:28,794 --> 00:00:30,314 We are recording 6 00:00:30,794 --> 00:00:32,594 ...okay, then 7 00:00:34,074 --> 00:00:36,314 So this is the first notebook 8 00:00:43,194 --> 00:00:45,234 ?Where to start? 9 00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:47,834 .in the beginning 10 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,554 Well, that's really the beginning of it all 11 00:01:04,114 --> 00:01:05,674 .well, come on 12 00:01:06,914 --> 00:01:10,554 This is a painful step : Almost impossible for me 13 00:01:12,354 --> 00:01:14,354 deposit all that has been repressed 14 00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:16,954 Between the lines of an innocent sheet of paper 15 00:01:18,794 --> 00:01:20,354 , so many inhibitions 16 00:01:20,794 --> 00:01:22,634 Fear of letting go 17 00:01:22,714 --> 00:01:23,954 to let things flow from me 18 00:01:24,034 --> 00:01:25,594 , and still This is what I have to do 19 00:01:27,634 --> 00:01:31,714 If I ever want to give My life has a meaningful and satisfying purpose 20 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,914 with me 21 00:01:37,994 --> 00:01:42,554 Chapter 2: The Girl Who Couldn't Kneel a knee 22 00:01:50,714 --> 00:01:58,514 The train to Deventer leaves a platform 3 23 00:02:51,354 --> 00:02:52,594 Misha, if you see this 24 00:02:52,674 --> 00:02:54,474 we are looking for you .in Osnavard Forest 25 00:02:59,274 --> 00:03:00,274 ?Mom 26 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,274 ?Father 27 00:03:36,874 --> 00:03:37,954 with me 28 00:03:39,034 --> 00:03:40,514 It's good you came 29 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:41,674 Yap said you are busy 30 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:43,954 Yes, in the end I managed to arrive 31 00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:46,594 ?Something new 32 00:03:46,754 --> 00:03:47,754 Nothing for now 33 00:03:48,074 --> 00:03:50,994 We've been here for hours, he doesn't have it No trace 34 00:03:51,074 --> 00:03:54,154 .we needed a break We were looking in that direction 35 00:03:55,154 --> 00:03:56,914 ?Okay, what exactly happened? 36 00:03:56,994 --> 00:03:58,194 ?Can someone tell me? 37 00:03:58,514 --> 00:03:59,714 ?When did he disappear? 38 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,914 Mom is just waiting .to give her monologue again 39 00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:05,634 Mother will tell you 40 00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:09,914 I woke up in the morning around Half past two 41 00:04:10,714 --> 00:04:14,314 I had to eat something , because my sugar dropped 42 00:04:14,394 --> 00:04:15,954 , and then I went to brush my teeth 43 00:04:16,354 --> 00:04:18,274 .but my toothbrush is gone 44 00:04:19,154 --> 00:04:21,074 I think the instincts - My Russians woke up 45 00:04:21,234 --> 00:04:22,954 ...I went to Misha's room Misha- 46 00:04:23,114 --> 00:04:24,594 .and he wasn't there 47 00:04:25,354 --> 00:04:27,954 All he took .it's just my toothbrush 48 00:04:28,394 --> 00:04:29,634 Misha! 49 00:04:30,954 --> 00:04:33,634 .He has a concert at the institution on Friday 50 00:04:33,714 --> 00:04:37,554 , the whole team will be there .including the director Dr. Burchman 51 00:04:37,714 --> 00:04:41,434 Maybe the manager of The Concert Hall, Mendelberg, import 52 00:04:42,034 --> 00:04:45,674 He said they would give him permission It's special to perform in concerts 53 00:04:45,754 --> 00:04:47,394 .Despite the new orders 54 00:04:47,874 --> 00:04:51,714 I don't understand why he needed to Do it right now 55 00:04:51,794 --> 00:04:53,954 Maybe it's "because" of all the pressure there is on him 56 00:04:54,034 --> 00:04:56,554 Why do you immediately start blaming? 57 00:04:56,634 --> 00:04:59,354 What did we do to him wrong? I didn't accuse you of anything- 58 00:05:00,714 --> 00:05:03,154 He is the one who is not ready Don't go to any concert without us 59 00:05:03,274 --> 00:05:04,954 I didn't say anything 60 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,834 I don't understand where we went wrong 61 00:05:12,514 --> 00:05:15,394 why do you all have so many ?problems 62 00:05:19,594 --> 00:05:23,954 Oh, you know they said Yap , that he will not be able to get a doctor's license 63 00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:26,514 .because signs of schizophrenia were discovered 64 00:05:27,754 --> 00:05:30,674 You're the only one who really can .to reach something, Eti 65 00:05:30,754 --> 00:05:33,514 I told you, you should have started the specialization in law 66 00:05:33,914 --> 00:05:35,714 With your master's degree everyone will .you 67 00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:36,754 But I don't want me 68 00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,314 And besides, sorry to say 69 00:05:38,394 --> 00:05:41,514 But what is this thing? ?Sleep with your landlord 70 00:05:42,034 --> 00:05:43,274 Han is a good person 71 00:05:43,354 --> 00:05:45,514 And he has means, that's true 72 00:05:45,594 --> 00:05:48,834 But what a future Do you think you have it with him, Eti? 73 00:05:48,914 --> 00:05:50,354 Misha! 74 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:17,794 Hilsom! 75 00:06:18,394 --> 00:06:19,354 Yup! 76 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:22,474 Max! Yup! I hear you- 77 00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:23,554 Hilsom 78 00:06:24,594 --> 00:06:26,434 Yup! Max, here- 79 00:06:27,074 --> 00:06:29,354 .Oh, yes here- 80 00:06:31,034 --> 00:06:33,274 Hi Hello, Mr. Hilsom- 81 00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,794 ?How are you, sir? "No need for "Sir- 82 00:06:35,874 --> 00:06:38,434 .We are not at school anymore 83 00:06:41,514 --> 00:06:42,314 with me 84 00:06:43,314 --> 00:06:44,274 .Hi, Max 85 00:06:44,354 --> 00:06:45,714 I didn't know you were here too 86 00:06:46,194 --> 00:06:47,354 .good to see you 87 00:06:47,434 --> 00:06:49,154 .Yes ...uh, hi- 88 00:06:49,714 --> 00:06:50,714 How are you? 89 00:06:51,074 --> 00:06:52,594 I didn't know you still lived here 90 00:06:52,674 --> 00:06:54,994 Yes, not all of us made it in life .like you 91 00:06:55,074 --> 00:06:57,154 ...that's not what I meant yes- 92 00:06:57,674 --> 00:07:00,954 I'm doing pretty well .I found a pretty good job this year 93 00:07:01,034 --> 00:07:03,554 I am the secretary of the community now 94 00:07:03,634 --> 00:07:07,234 .That's great, Max Oh, it's not that big of a deal- 95 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,714 Matthi Hilsum we expect .for much more 96 00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,274 Well... expectations of others They don't really help me in life 97 00:07:12,394 --> 00:07:13,514 Max, come on 98 00:07:14,674 --> 00:07:15,834 .Yes 99 00:07:16,354 --> 00:07:19,314 .I, this is Tobias, my friend 100 00:07:19,514 --> 00:07:21,794 .Hi, Tobias .He's off duty now- 101 00:07:22,674 --> 00:07:25,314 .but he helps in the search yes- 102 00:07:25,954 --> 00:07:27,954 ...all for the manager 103 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,754 Anyway, sir Max gave me all the details 104 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:35,114 Searches are usually started ...only after 48 hours, though 105 00:07:35,274 --> 00:07:37,794 - If I may ask ?There is a danger of self-harm 106 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,394 ...no, he didn't He left a letter- 107 00:07:40,554 --> 00:07:43,874 It says that he prefers to die than returning to the institution 108 00:07:43,954 --> 00:07:46,714 .It's not called suicidal, mom So what is suicidal? 109 00:07:46,914 --> 00:07:49,034 , let's all define it together ?Good 110 00:07:50,314 --> 00:07:53,434 Anyway, sir, the main concern .is if he went to Amsterdam 111 00:07:53,594 --> 00:07:55,194 There is a curfew there all night 112 00:07:55,394 --> 00:07:56,754 I already checked with all his friends 113 00:07:56,914 --> 00:07:59,794 But if he's out now .it is very dangerous 114 00:07:59,994 --> 00:08:00,954 .Yes, I understand 115 00:08:01,954 --> 00:08:04,074 I have already informed the police , in Amsterdam 116 00:08:04,354 --> 00:08:06,554 But you should call everyone .that you know there 117 00:08:12,754 --> 00:08:13,754 , mother 118 00:08:14,514 --> 00:08:18,194 Why not... go home 119 00:08:20,274 --> 00:08:21,714 I'm sure he'll be back 120 00:08:22,314 --> 00:08:25,114 ?" What do you mean "go ?You're not coming with us 121 00:08:28,314 --> 00:08:30,314 Where will you go? There is a curfew in Amsterdam 122 00:08:30,394 --> 00:08:32,234 No, the curfew is until six in the morning 123 00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,354 There is a train to Amsterdam shortly 124 00:09:26,874 --> 00:09:27,874 Misha! 125 00:09:29,674 --> 00:09:32,434 Han said I could stay here ...he asked me to tell you that 126 00:09:32,514 --> 00:09:34,634 ?You've gone completely crazy 127 00:09:34,714 --> 00:09:35,714 ...well 128 00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:39,954 You understand we've been looking for you all night ?In Osnavard 129 00:09:40,114 --> 00:09:42,354 ?We didn't know if you were alive. where have you been 130 00:09:42,474 --> 00:09:44,714 At Alexandra's, but she drove me away 131 00:09:46,514 --> 00:09:50,234 I call mom and dad. they are ...you will be taken home to rest, then 132 00:09:50,314 --> 00:09:53,034 I only need three or four days 133 00:09:53,354 --> 00:09:55,474 I will be back on Thursday .before the concert 134 00:09:55,634 --> 00:09:58,674 Misha, if you don't come back today .There won't be any concert 135 00:09:59,114 --> 00:10:00,754 .they will cancel it 136 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,074 !?Are you ready to stop playing? 137 00:10:09,394 --> 00:10:11,074 , and even if they don't cancel 138 00:10:11,634 --> 00:10:15,194 You know that after you play , 24 hours a day for several days 139 00:10:15,274 --> 00:10:16,794 , you will crash 140 00:10:17,194 --> 00:10:19,074 And you won't be able to get the .yourself out of bed 141 00:10:19,154 --> 00:10:23,114 .then there won't be any concert OK, so there won't be any concert- 142 00:10:26,714 --> 00:10:29,154 ...Maybe you don't understand it, but 143 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,794 Electric shocks kill you .my music 144 00:10:34,514 --> 00:10:36,394 ...it's like the notes are reversed 145 00:10:39,114 --> 00:10:42,754 , from 3D to 1D 146 00:10:43,874 --> 00:10:45,394 Do you understand? 147 00:10:46,674 --> 00:10:50,714 .and slowly they turn into skeletons I understand- 148 00:10:51,914 --> 00:10:55,274 But you can't, in the middle ?Tonight... -What do you mean? 149 00:10:56,234 --> 00:11:00,434 You felt it at the last recital . mine? - No, no, of course not 150 00:11:00,554 --> 00:11:03,994 There is no one in this whole city who plays .like you. you know that 151 00:11:05,794 --> 00:11:09,714 We will explain to them You can try another treatment 152 00:11:11,194 --> 00:11:13,714 The electric shocks can be stopped 153 00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:16,474 I will talk to mom and dad 154 00:11:18,954 --> 00:11:20,314 .I have an idea 155 00:11:22,034 --> 00:11:24,754 .I want you to meet someone I think he can help you 156 00:11:26,874 --> 00:11:29,834 ?Psychiatrist ...no, no. he- 157 00:11:30,434 --> 00:11:31,874 He is different 158 00:11:32,074 --> 00:11:34,994 He moved here from Berlin before Two years 159 00:11:35,154 --> 00:11:37,674 .He is a true genius 160 00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:42,554 .It works with your palms ...he has special methods 161 00:11:42,674 --> 00:11:43,874 ?Who, Julius Sapir? 162 00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:45,554 .Yes 163 00:11:46,674 --> 00:11:48,634 Have you heard of him? .Obviously- 164 00:11:49,074 --> 00:11:50,634 Who hasn't heard? 165 00:11:52,154 --> 00:11:53,554 ?You met with him 166 00:11:54,154 --> 00:11:57,074 No, I've been there a few times ...and it was 167 00:12:00,114 --> 00:12:02,394 I can go there and determine Take your turn 168 00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:11,354 I can come with you, if .you want 169 00:12:18,074 --> 00:12:18,874 .Yes 170 00:12:19,914 --> 00:12:23,434 Yes. Okay, I'll call now ?To mom and dad, good 171 00:12:27,594 --> 00:12:28,674 ?Okay 172 00:12:32,194 --> 00:12:34,154 .They worry terribly, Misha 173 00:12:35,674 --> 00:12:39,634 , they will take you home ...you will be able to rest a little and 174 00:12:40,434 --> 00:12:41,834 We will think about what to do next 175 00:12:44,234 --> 00:12:48,914 , it's really very touching How much you care for me 176 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,714 But you know as well as I do Just hypocrisy 177 00:12:57,314 --> 00:12:59,794 what you really want It's just that I'll get out of here 178 00:12:59,994 --> 00:13:02,554 To get rid of this trouble whose name is Misha 179 00:13:02,674 --> 00:13:03,994 Misha, that's not true 180 00:13:04,154 --> 00:13:06,674 Let's save the whole position ?This face, well 181 00:13:10,434 --> 00:13:12,434 Altruism is not something .that exists in our family 182 00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:19,314 You want me to go to Sapir .just so you can fuck him 183 00:13:21,714 --> 00:13:23,794 You may think you are different 184 00:13:25,074 --> 00:13:27,514 , but you are Hilsum, with me 185 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,754 Those sick genes 186 00:13:29,994 --> 00:13:32,314 .don't think it skipped over you 187 00:15:54,594 --> 00:15:56,074 Thank you 188 00:15:56,274 --> 00:15:58,994 Thank you. Thank you for being so forgiving 189 00:16:00,074 --> 00:16:02,034 .No, really, thank you all 190 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,994 I can only admit , about your bad taste 191 00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:08,074 Otherwise you wouldn't be here now 192 00:16:08,154 --> 00:16:10,514 with a wretched and poor Jewish refugee 193 00:16:10,754 --> 00:16:15,554 In this strange bubble .which was created here under the occupation 194 00:16:17,314 --> 00:16:19,394 .Let's begin, dear friends 195 00:16:19,714 --> 00:16:23,074 This is a fascinating case from a week ago ...about 196 00:16:23,474 --> 00:16:27,154 Sorry, Mr. Sapir, maybe you can Explain your theory first 197 00:16:27,234 --> 00:16:30,074 After all, she is quite hated ...in dispute and 198 00:16:30,154 --> 00:16:33,554 Sorry, but Mr. Sapir , will talk about his theories at the end 199 00:16:34,234 --> 00:16:37,634 And there will be plenty of time for all the skeptics .ask any question they want 200 00:16:39,954 --> 00:16:41,914 , so the subject is a young woman 201 00:16:41,994 --> 00:16:46,514 , about 27 years old , Dutch-Russian of Jewish origin 202 00:16:46,994 --> 00:16:48,834 , an academic 203 00:16:48,954 --> 00:16:53,594 who suffers from anxiety and depression .with psychosomatic symptoms 204 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,394 I want you to pay attention 205 00:16:56,514 --> 00:17:01,114 , to the many latitudes that go out here .from Saturn 206 00:17:01,914 --> 00:17:05,274 This is a very restrained personality 207 00:17:05,914 --> 00:17:08,834 Here you see my lines The anxiety on the hill of Venus 208 00:17:09,394 --> 00:17:12,794 can be seen clearly , rigid emotional structures 209 00:17:12,874 --> 00:17:15,594 and a significant lack of ability Adaptation 210 00:17:15,754 --> 00:17:16,874 Right hand 211 00:17:19,994 --> 00:17:23,434 In addition, right thumb , very, very close to the palm of the hand 212 00:17:23,914 --> 00:17:25,954 indicates developmental delay internal 213 00:17:26,154 --> 00:17:28,634 : Look at this vortex here 214 00:17:30,554 --> 00:17:32,354 , so much ambition and talent 215 00:17:33,074 --> 00:17:35,834 .but never achieved anything 216 00:17:37,354 --> 00:17:41,514 Everything we see here is not .approaching its true potential 217 00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:46,434 And all this is a result of these anxieties and inhibitions 218 00:17:47,114 --> 00:17:48,914 , before I go into details 219 00:17:49,114 --> 00:17:52,474 I want you to consider .the treatment question 220 00:17:53,914 --> 00:17:57,194 Chirology is an excellent diagnostic tool 221 00:17:57,714 --> 00:18:01,954 But we must not forget you : the main question 222 00:18:02,194 --> 00:18:04,434 How can we help a person? ?This one 223 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,594 Sorry, Mr. Sapir 224 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,994 Is it even possible to help her? 225 00:18:12,074 --> 00:18:15,274 sorry like i said ?There will be time for questions at the end, okay? 226 00:18:18,354 --> 00:18:22,154 , in the end It depends on the ability of the person 227 00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:24,714 , to transcend oneself ...towards something bigger 228 00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:26,114 I'm already coming back 229 00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:31,754 Etty, what are you doing here? 230 00:18:33,354 --> 00:18:36,914 Come with me .No, I want to hear it- 231 00:18:38,594 --> 00:18:42,114 And the lack of a goal of any kind... .which is beyond man himself 232 00:18:42,434 --> 00:18:43,874 ...and then the feeling of failure is 233 00:18:43,954 --> 00:18:46,274 Come on. you are shaking .No, I'm fine- 234 00:18:46,354 --> 00:18:47,834 with me !no- 235 00:18:56,194 --> 00:18:58,794 I promise you it's a hundred .anonymous percentage 236 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:04,914 .no one will ever know it's you Yes, I understand- 237 00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:17,554 He decides on the place I didn't expect you to come here 238 00:19:26,754 --> 00:19:28,154 Why are you here? 239 00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:34,074 I wanted to ask him Get Misha for treatment 240 00:19:36,154 --> 00:19:37,554 You should have called me 241 00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:40,674 .Yes. Too bad 242 00:19:47,434 --> 00:19:48,474 I'm going 243 00:19:48,634 --> 00:19:51,274 No, I don't want you to go like that 244 00:19:55,234 --> 00:19:58,714 Please wait here a moment ?wait why- 245 00:19:58,794 --> 00:20:02,154 I'm sure he'll want to talk to you .and... explain, before you go 246 00:20:02,274 --> 00:20:03,754 Han is waiting for me 247 00:20:04,034 --> 00:20:06,994 I told him I would be back before The curfew 248 00:20:07,434 --> 00:20:09,154 You will be enough 249 00:20:11,874 --> 00:20:14,034 I think that's enough for one day 250 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:15,834 ...with me 251 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:21,074 .Wait. Stay a little longer, please 252 00:20:27,114 --> 00:20:29,154 .I... I'll call you later 253 00:20:34,514 --> 00:20:36,354 I will make you tea. come on 254 00:20:37,114 --> 00:20:40,834 Well, that's it for tonight Ladies and gentlemen 255 00:20:41,434 --> 00:20:43,154 Curfew will start soon 256 00:20:43,674 --> 00:20:49,314 So to whom it is relevant... Or In other words: Jews, out 257 00:22:02,074 --> 00:22:02,914 with me 258 00:22:05,954 --> 00:22:07,794 ?The lecture is already over 259 00:22:08,354 --> 00:22:11,234 Yes. I'm sorry .that took me too long 260 00:22:14,434 --> 00:22:15,794 .that's fine 261 00:22:17,354 --> 00:22:18,634 ...but 262 00:22:20,154 --> 00:22:21,154 I have to go now 263 00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:23,234 ...the curfew 264 00:22:23,994 --> 00:22:26,434 .Stay away from the edge, please 265 00:22:28,194 --> 00:22:29,514 .don't worry 266 00:22:30,114 --> 00:22:33,034 I received an opinion from an expert .that I am not suicidal 267 00:22:35,274 --> 00:22:38,594 Although, you never know , what was said behind your back 268 00:22:40,074 --> 00:22:42,234 ...so maybe it's better that I am 269 00:22:43,594 --> 00:22:44,874 I will keep my distance 270 00:22:45,154 --> 00:22:47,114 .I'm really very sorry 271 00:22:47,754 --> 00:22:49,714 .I can only imagine how you felt 272 00:22:51,034 --> 00:22:53,874 The truth is that it was an interesting experience I have to admit 273 00:22:55,714 --> 00:22:57,954 , like being at your own funeral 274 00:22:59,554 --> 00:23:00,714 ...but 275 00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:05,154 Saying only the bad things 276 00:23:06,314 --> 00:23:06,994 ...it really isn't 277 00:23:07,074 --> 00:23:10,754 It was interesting to hear What do you really think of me? 278 00:23:11,954 --> 00:23:13,914 Or what my palms say .go 279 00:23:14,634 --> 00:23:17,194 .everything you couldn't say to my face 280 00:23:18,074 --> 00:23:21,474 In this case, it is much more complex From what you describe 281 00:23:21,554 --> 00:23:25,394 Really... what's so complicated ?"B"never achieved anything 282 00:23:26,954 --> 00:23:28,954 ?Not that it's not true, yes 283 00:23:33,554 --> 00:23:35,754 .sounds cruel, but it's accurate 284 00:23:38,314 --> 00:23:41,714 A master's degree in law is possible Throw straight into the trash 285 00:23:42,994 --> 00:23:45,914 Ten years of writing that nothing came of them 286 00:23:46,034 --> 00:23:49,234 - No husband, no children Not that I want to, God forbid 287 00:23:51,474 --> 00:23:53,754 A miserable living from private lessons 288 00:23:54,754 --> 00:23:55,914 , depression 289 00:23:57,674 --> 00:23:59,674 Endless bodily sensations 290 00:24:02,914 --> 00:24:04,914 And I'm already 27 years old 291 00:24:08,954 --> 00:24:14,074 We all have great temptation , to surrender to self-pity and despair 292 00:24:15,434 --> 00:24:18,594 ...especially these days .it's so tempting 293 00:24:21,154 --> 00:24:23,234 But there is also another way 294 00:24:27,154 --> 00:24:29,034 What did you say to that woman? 295 00:24:31,674 --> 00:24:33,634 that you can still help me 296 00:24:34,994 --> 00:24:37,754 .I told her it was entirely up to you 297 00:24:38,594 --> 00:24:45,074 ...but it requires a kind of A profound change of mind 298 00:24:46,834 --> 00:24:50,074 And if you stay with the same patterns , thinking 299 00:24:50,594 --> 00:24:53,634 It would be hard for me to imagine a change .real 300 00:24:56,034 --> 00:24:59,074 ?"What kind of "change of mind 301 00:24:59,154 --> 00:25:01,434 What exactly needs to change? 302 00:25:03,274 --> 00:25:05,794 In the most basic way: everything ...which is here 303 00:25:07,314 --> 00:25:09,034 .need to move here 304 00:25:10,314 --> 00:25:11,434 ?How 305 00:25:13,154 --> 00:25:14,594 The exercises 306 00:25:15,314 --> 00:25:17,114 The exercises can be a start 307 00:25:18,874 --> 00:25:22,994 They can help you .to reach directly to your...soul 308 00:25:24,914 --> 00:25:26,914 I'm sure you can do it .that 309 00:25:28,554 --> 00:25:30,434 how can you be so ?Convinced 310 00:25:31,194 --> 00:25:32,874 .because I can see you 311 00:25:35,314 --> 00:25:36,714 I'm thinking of you 312 00:25:38,594 --> 00:25:39,874 .a lot 313 00:25:42,914 --> 00:25:44,674 .since the first time you came to me 314 00:25:53,474 --> 00:25:54,394 ...this 315 00:25:59,674 --> 00:26:00,594 Thank you 316 00:26:10,594 --> 00:26:14,354 I would like to move with you .once for all the exercises 317 00:26:16,714 --> 00:26:19,034 Thanks, but I really have to go 318 00:26:20,194 --> 00:26:21,634 You can sleep here 319 00:26:24,834 --> 00:26:25,834 .No, thanks 320 00:26:25,994 --> 00:26:29,034 Some of the students too Those who live far away stay to sleep here 321 00:26:29,434 --> 00:26:31,474 On mattresses in the living room 322 00:26:34,234 --> 00:26:35,994 ...I don't think so 323 00:26:39,594 --> 00:26:40,914 ...that I'm ready 324 00:26:42,674 --> 00:26:45,194 .join your harem 325 00:26:50,274 --> 00:26:52,794 ...but anyway, me 326 00:26:52,874 --> 00:26:55,474 They are waiting for me at home So call... 327 00:26:57,034 --> 00:26:59,114 I'm sure they will understand 328 00:27:13,394 --> 00:27:14,994 I love the illustrations 329 00:27:16,554 --> 00:27:17,834 .Let's continue 330 00:27:19,114 --> 00:27:20,234 A diary 331 00:27:21,354 --> 00:27:23,754 Every morning and every evening 332 00:27:24,474 --> 00:27:26,634 In total, at least half an hour 333 00:27:27,954 --> 00:27:29,794 Starting tomorrow morning 334 00:27:32,914 --> 00:27:35,474 .I thought I was done with it at 18 335 00:27:39,434 --> 00:27:42,474 You know, when I have 336 00:27:43,274 --> 00:27:44,994 A rare moment of grace 337 00:27:45,074 --> 00:27:48,354 where I believe the writing Mine is worth something 338 00:27:50,154 --> 00:27:52,594 ...I prefer to use it for 339 00:27:55,114 --> 00:27:56,394 .to my prose 340 00:27:58,194 --> 00:28:01,634 So we have to make sure that the moments .these won't be that rare 341 00:28:11,754 --> 00:28:12,754 .Yes 342 00:28:13,914 --> 00:28:14,914 Very beautiful 343 00:28:22,314 --> 00:28:25,234 Ten minutes. every morning 344 00:28:25,874 --> 00:28:27,714 , the head touches the floor 345 00:28:29,154 --> 00:28:31,274 , the back rests on the legs 346 00:28:32,154 --> 00:28:34,554 .The hands are stretched forward 347 00:28:36,274 --> 00:28:38,314 It is important that there is no tension in the muscles 348 00:28:39,834 --> 00:28:40,914 Try it 349 00:28:51,514 --> 00:28:52,714 .lower 350 00:28:53,874 --> 00:28:56,074 .Yes. very beautiful 351 00:28:58,594 --> 00:29:00,194 Give yourself up to it completely 352 00:29:11,034 --> 00:29:14,074 .I... No, sorry I can't do it 353 00:29:20,194 --> 00:29:21,554 Certainly not in front of you 354 00:31:10,034 --> 00:31:12,434 Good morning morning- 355 00:31:12,994 --> 00:31:14,274 ?You're already going 356 00:31:15,754 --> 00:31:18,394 .Yes. I need to get home 357 00:31:19,914 --> 00:31:21,274 .Of course 358 00:31:35,994 --> 00:31:37,794 I also have to go in a minute 359 00:31:38,834 --> 00:31:41,154 A meeting with the authorities 360 00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:43,034 .Yes 361 00:32:15,874 --> 00:32:16,914 ...so 362 00:32:17,674 --> 00:32:20,954 ...about the kneeling ?Sorry- 363 00:32:21,194 --> 00:32:23,434 The kneeling Yes- 364 00:32:24,874 --> 00:32:28,794 I totally want to try ...the other exercises, though 365 00:32:29,034 --> 00:32:30,714 .not that 366 00:32:30,874 --> 00:32:32,194 Aha 367 00:32:33,234 --> 00:32:35,954 You know, I started writing ...a novel once upon a time 368 00:32:37,114 --> 00:32:39,474 "The Girl Who Couldn't Kneel" 369 00:32:40,194 --> 00:32:41,234 Beautiful 370 00:32:42,314 --> 00:32:43,994 ?What was it about? 371 00:32:44,474 --> 00:32:47,874 Yeah, well...I didn't make any progress .much beyond the title 372 00:32:49,514 --> 00:32:51,274 .good title 373 00:32:52,314 --> 00:32:54,194 ?But why couldn't she kneel? 374 00:32:55,114 --> 00:32:56,954 ...it's... I don't know exactly to 375 00:32:57,034 --> 00:32:59,074 She probably didn't have this gene 376 00:32:59,874 --> 00:33:00,674 .Wait 377 00:33:01,474 --> 00:33:03,194 ...yeah... so what I meant 378 00:33:03,274 --> 00:33:04,274 Sorry 379 00:33:04,394 --> 00:33:06,834 Wait. This is my better ear 380 00:33:07,634 --> 00:33:09,194 The garden 381 00:33:09,354 --> 00:33:12,114 The religious garden. Faith in God or .something 382 00:33:13,154 --> 00:33:16,434 Kneeling should not be tied .to religion 383 00:33:18,074 --> 00:33:20,074 ?So before whom do you kneel? 384 00:33:20,714 --> 00:33:21,954 ?There must be something there, no? 385 00:33:23,754 --> 00:33:24,954 , good 386 00:33:25,114 --> 00:33:27,314 ...At some point I understood 387 00:33:28,154 --> 00:33:32,434 that I can adopt this movement , of all religions 388 00:33:33,674 --> 00:33:35,754 .but only the movement 389 00:33:36,674 --> 00:33:38,994 .including the internal traffic, of course 390 00:33:39,234 --> 00:33:40,754 The surrender yes- 391 00:33:40,874 --> 00:33:44,674 Exactly. the surrender I can't do it 392 00:33:45,234 --> 00:33:46,914 Of course you can 393 00:33:49,034 --> 00:33:52,874 I suggest you just try .don't think about it too much 394 00:33:52,954 --> 00:33:54,114 No expectations 395 00:33:57,754 --> 00:34:00,434 .well, we'll talk about that when we get a chance ?Okay 396 00:34:01,434 --> 00:34:04,674 I'm from here .excellent, it's my way- 397 00:34:08,234 --> 00:34:09,354 , in any case 398 00:34:10,874 --> 00:34:12,594 I really appreciate it 399 00:34:14,554 --> 00:34:16,914 .and I will pay next week 400 00:34:22,634 --> 00:34:25,794 I'm not sure there is a need in additional treatments 401 00:34:28,234 --> 00:34:29,674 What does that mean? 402 00:34:31,314 --> 00:34:34,674 As I already explained, I already am .not so much a believer in psychoanalysis 403 00:34:35,434 --> 00:34:37,714 .years of endless talk 404 00:34:39,594 --> 00:34:42,274 You already know everything you are .need to know 405 00:34:43,394 --> 00:34:47,394 No, I... I actually think No 406 00:34:48,434 --> 00:34:53,194 I think it can help a lot .if we have a few more meetings 407 00:34:55,114 --> 00:34:56,914 Start practicing, Eti 408 00:35:00,234 --> 00:35:03,154 .it's good that it's in your hands now 409 00:35:05,514 --> 00:35:06,954 ...I am 410 00:35:07,834 --> 00:35:11,554 I don't understand .what could it hurt if we met again 411 00:35:15,194 --> 00:35:17,074 I thought that was the whole purpose of the diary 412 00:35:17,154 --> 00:35:20,954 I will document my progress .and I will read it to you in our meetings 413 00:35:21,034 --> 00:35:23,754 No no, the diary is just for you 414 00:35:24,394 --> 00:35:28,354 You need to write something , that no one will ever read 415 00:35:28,474 --> 00:35:31,194 that no one ever does Like it or not 416 00:35:31,554 --> 00:35:33,154 Not even you 417 00:35:46,234 --> 00:35:48,274 ...you know, I ask myself 418 00:35:50,554 --> 00:35:52,434 ...if there are any other reasons 419 00:35:55,234 --> 00:35:57,874 .for this sudden break 420 00:36:01,034 --> 00:36:01,874 .maybe 421 00:36:03,994 --> 00:36:05,274 Maybe there is 422 00:36:11,154 --> 00:36:12,194 .I need to get in here 423 00:36:14,514 --> 00:36:17,194 .Yes, I... I have to go away 424 00:36:28,914 --> 00:36:32,794 ...Wait, what? ?What do you have to do there? 425 00:36:32,954 --> 00:36:35,194 .Ah, bureaucracy 426 00:36:35,434 --> 00:36:37,554 All refugees must register 427 00:36:40,834 --> 00:36:42,554 ?That I will go in there with you 428 00:36:43,514 --> 00:36:44,794 .Maybe I can help 429 00:36:45,514 --> 00:36:47,434 No. no thanks 430 00:36:48,074 --> 00:36:49,634 It's just paperwork 431 00:36:50,194 --> 00:36:51,754 Take care of yourself, Eti 432 00:36:53,514 --> 00:36:54,674 Goodbye 433 00:37:02,554 --> 00:37:04,234 Good morning come in- 434 00:37:13,114 --> 00:37:14,114 .the villain 435 00:37:15,714 --> 00:37:17,714 : He took my hand and said 436 00:37:18,634 --> 00:37:21,434 Look, this is how you should live 437 00:37:21,594 --> 00:37:23,554 .and then let go 438 00:37:25,274 --> 00:37:27,314 All my life I had this feeling 439 00:37:27,674 --> 00:37:31,434 If only someone had come ...and takes me in his hand, and takes care of me 440 00:37:32,714 --> 00:37:35,314 I look strong and independent to everyone 441 00:37:35,514 --> 00:37:38,554 But I would gladly deposit it Myself in his hands 442 00:37:41,634 --> 00:37:45,274 On the other hand, isn't it exactly ?" What you can call it - "surrender 443 00:37:52,554 --> 00:37:54,154 .Hey, Hans. good morning 444 00:38:17,034 --> 00:38:18,354 .well, come on 445 00:38:21,594 --> 00:38:25,434 This is a painful step , almost impossible for me 446 00:38:27,394 --> 00:38:29,314 deposit all that has been repressed 447 00:38:29,474 --> 00:38:31,954 Between the lines of an innocent sheet of paper 448 00:38:33,314 --> 00:38:35,034 , so many inhibitions 449 00:38:35,274 --> 00:38:37,314 Fear of letting go 450 00:38:37,594 --> 00:38:38,874 .to allow things to flow from me 451 00:38:38,954 --> 00:38:41,114 , and still This is what I have to do 452 00:38:42,114 --> 00:38:45,874 If I ever want to give my life A meaningful and satisfying goal 453 00:38:48,914 --> 00:38:52,514 , it's like the last shout , the liberator, in sex 454 00:38:52,594 --> 00:38:55,434 that you always remain stuck and ashamed in the throat 455 00:38:58,794 --> 00:39:00,674 .which brings me to 456 00:39:02,314 --> 00:39:04,674 , after all I don't like him as a man at all 457 00:39:04,874 --> 00:39:08,754 So... it's all just that impulse ?Obtain ownership of it 458 00:39:11,074 --> 00:39:14,114 I have to admit that my fantasies , a bit sickly about him 459 00:39:14,634 --> 00:39:16,874 , with experimental elements 460 00:39:17,234 --> 00:39:18,634 Games 461 00:39:19,114 --> 00:39:22,794 But if even one , of these fantasies would come true 462 00:39:22,954 --> 00:39:25,914 I would cringe .like a frightened schoolgirl 463 00:39:26,754 --> 00:39:28,394 I know it so well 464 00:39:30,154 --> 00:39:31,714 I must be able to silence them 465 00:39:33,594 --> 00:39:36,954 .yeah, well, let's move on to something else .no- 466 00:39:38,194 --> 00:39:39,914 Go on. It's excellent 467 00:39:40,794 --> 00:39:43,274 I don't know, it's a little too personal 468 00:39:44,834 --> 00:39:47,474 ?Good writing is always like that, isn't it? 469 00:39:55,554 --> 00:39:56,794 .okay, good 470 00:40:03,434 --> 00:40:05,354 But my body betrays me 471 00:40:08,414 --> 00:40:11,054 I swear like a construction worker 472 00:40:13,084 --> 00:40:14,604 Suddenly I could understand the monks 473 00:40:14,684 --> 00:40:17,484 who whipped themselves .to subdue the sinful body 474 00:40:19,451 --> 00:40:22,460 I know the struggle to be freed from will be difficult 475 00:40:25,066 --> 00:40:29,134 His mouth and body were so close" , to me yesterday 476 00:40:30,374 --> 00:40:32,585 ". That I won't be able to forget them"